intense piano notes

Hey dudes,

So, I suck. I never update my blog. I never call or skype anyone. I never send letters or emails. Well, sorry. I promise, you aren't really missing out. I don't do anything that is interesting to people other than me (Jonj can attest to that--he has to listen to me ramble about chemistry ALL THE TIME).

This semester I'm taking this amazing/horrible class called Modern Techniques of Organic Chemistry. Well, we call it MODTECH because then it goes from pretentious and long to concise and INTENSE. Overall, I would rate it as more of a LONG AND INTENSE class than a concise and intense class. I have lab from approximately 12-6pm on Tuesdays and Thursdays. So you can understand why my brain is generally mush. Add in all the time I spend working on prelabs, procedures and lab reports outside of class and well...maybe you can understand the 15-20 hours I spent one weekend working on it... At the same time, it's been one of the most rewarding classes I've taken.

We really are learning modern techniques and trying to apply them independently. I've used a HUGE EXPENSIVE magnet machine that spits out these crazy looking graphs to identify my samples. (It's related to MRI technology. see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NMR_spectroscopy for a scary picture of an NMR machine. our's isn't that large, but it's still intimidating.) And guess what--I can't actually identify what the messed up graphs mean! It is seriously the most exciting thing ever. I spent most of September and October freaking out about only partially understanding them. And then suddenly everything clicked. I am by no means an NMR expert, but I am so much better than I was. And to me, that is amazing. This class is amazing.

Sometimes, I don't do chemistry. During those times I am studying, or flute-ing or sleeping. Seriously--I've barely left campus this semester. Jonathan and I tried to go to the Opera the other weekend, but they ran out of rush tickets a few people before us in the queue. It was tragic. And I went to Hahhhhhhvahhhhhhddd last weekend. However, that is a story for a skype date.

Hmm, now I have to go to chemistry. I bet you saw that one coming. Maybe I will update my blog before Christmas break, but don't count on it.

love love love,

sarajean

plain jane glory

I was thinking the other day about how I have become immensely inarticulate. Or perhaps I never was. (I like to think that in high school I could express myself with a little more finesse.) Somewhere, I have lost that skill. I think it had something to do with losing my self-confidence at college, and now that I'm finally recovering from that fall I am ready to tackle eloquence. My theory is that by writing more I will regain my way with words. So maybe I am saying that I plan to update this blog more. Or maybe I won't.

We're in the final stretch. 5 weeks from today I will be in Beloit, or possibly Stoughton, trying to forget those essays I scrambled to finish or the resonance structure I definitely drew wrong. Five weeks seems quite short. Really, this entire year seems far too short in retrospect. I am sad because several of the things that I really like about this year will come to an end: Friends will graduate and I will have to pack up this beautiful room and say goodbye to my skyline. I've learned loads of things this year. Predictably, not just about chemistry, but also about life. I think I'm finally understanding how other people think in a way that isn't constantly plagued with self-doubt. I feel like I'm finding my place. I feel at home arguing about chemistry. It's something I understand. Mechanisms are logical in a way that political theory never was to me. I am glad that this reduces my likelihood of failing out of college. But I am also concerned that my lack of interest in the humanities says something terrible about my brain. I often find I have nothing to say to anyone that isn't somehow related to school. I won't try to argue that I used to be more charismatic. I don't think that is an adjective anyone will ever use to describe my shy personality. (Today someone called me bold. Predictably, it was in chemistry. It was nice.)

I don't have much else to say. I suppose this post has been a rather pretentious exercise. Alas, you must start somewhere.

love love love,

sara